His sentence: It wasn't just her slightly gap-toothed smile, it was the casual way she swiped at a loose strand of hair, the easy way she held herself.
From Dear John by Nicholas Sparks
Sparks' asyndeton allows the parallel phrases to easily flow into one another as they would in one's own stream of consciousness.
My sentence: The test itself didn't phase me, what got to me was the pressure to succeed, the expectations of every adult in the school.
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